How to slay online dating

After going through the catalogue of looks, and swiping left to all the cringe, desperate and pornographic profiles. You swipe right and the match you wanted messages you first. Yassss, you are in. But before you get too excited, you got to find out their intentions, whether they are actually real and whether their photos have filters all over them. So we are going to give you our top three tips before you decide to meet your Tinder date.

1. Basic details

Okurrrrrr now before you fall in love and find out later on that they live on the other side of the country. Find out where they live first. And save yourself the heartbreak, because long-distance is definitely not for everyone.

And most importantly, take the time to talk to them and make sure you both have the same sense of humour.

There is nothing worse, than exchanging a few words, skipping the obstacles to reach the destination to realise you have nothing in common as well as, the person not understanding your sense of humour. Someone out there will find your sarcastic, cynical, bold or inappropriate humour funny, so be yourself from the get go and find out if they really are a bit of you before you dive into the deep end.

2. Sound Check

Yep, thats right, a sound check.

Once you have 'got to know the basics.' It is time to find out if their voice is dreamy like Jaqueez, or more of an annoying twang like Spongebob. Now this is not a deal breaker but for those of you who have no poker face, this will help you know what to expect in time for the date. Ask the man/ women to send you a voice note.

3. Complete the CRB check.

You are starting to smile a lot, like a lot a lot. But you still haven't seen what they actually look like apart from the very-selected photos they have sent you. We all know camera angles can do wonders, and so can dimming the brightness. So the only possible solution for seeing if your potential beau is actually your potential beau is by participating in a video call.

Top Tip: Do not go on the date, we repeat do not go on the date. If the person refuses to engage in a full on conversation and video call. If they say 'I'm worth the wait' or 'it's too soon' then sorry sis, they were more than likely going to catfish you or waste your time and we do not have time for time wasters. Only certain people should be allowed to consume your energy. It's 2019. (so thank you, next)

So there we have it, three very simple steps- live by these, abide by these and remember these, at all times.

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