Is DMU really that bad?

“So, you think you can just graduate from DMU without kissing my cock?” The third year said to the first year.

#hoeseazon

If you’re coming to DMU to live your best life and you’re not ashamed to say it, good for you.

Is DMU really that bad? Let me weigh up the pros and cons for you, live from the jungle.

DMU goes two ways, you can either fight the reputation or embrace it. For those embracing it, live your best life, cool do it. But for me, I struggle to live with the fact that Poo Poo Girl is still on the loose and whenever someone asks me what uni I go to they straight away ask if I’m her. ( For those of you who don’t know, poo poo girl is a girl who went and poed on someone’s door step and ran away after a night out, it was all caught on cctv.)

You’ve most definitely heard about DMU, which has been officially considered one of the most unserious University’s in Britain. APPARENTLY, the girls are all easy and the boys are all 6’2 with waves, we LIVE for motives and we don’t go to lectures (thanks for that one, Dave).

We are on the map no doubt, but for all the wrong reasons.

People have a lot to say about ‘DMU girls’ but when there’s compulsory shots on the door to every motive, it is a recipe for disaster.

You already know what Twitters like, one drunk video and the next thing you’re waking up to 10 missed calls from your girls because a video of you has gone viral and now it’s, ‘DMU IS CANCELLED.’ Spare the innocent ones please.

Don’t even get me started on Halloween, out comes Filberts very own ‘Filly Gang’ with their fireworks. If you’re planning on coming to DMU in September, be sure to stay indoors during Halloween, if you want to remain unharmed.

I’m trying to think whether I know one couple at DMU. I don’t think so, you know why that is don’t you? Because no one wants to be associated with someone from Leicester.

Imagine I had one guy ask me where I went uni… tell me why I open the message 1 WHOLE DAY LATER to this:

IF I SCREAMMMMMM

I’ve had enough. The few of us who stay low key just trying to secure the bag and graduate have to suffer because if we don’t have Canada Goose and air pods it means we fall into the broke category. Even though you used Mrs Smith’s card to fund your lifestyle but let me not say too much.

When you’re applying to uni your first thought is, ‘okay which is the best university for the course I want to do?’ Nah I’m joking, no one who goes to DMU thought that. I’m not really sure when this ‘trash uni’ reputation started but I’m just glad I’m leaving it in 2019.

It’s not THAT bad.

DMU is full of people who are just trying to live their best lives. No matter where you go, you’re going to hear either bashment, afrobeats or drill.

Oh and ‘ayyyyy’, ‘yasss bitchhhh’, ‘cmonnnn what you tellin’ them’. There is no escaping those.

If there’s one good thing about DMU, it’s that it’s the perfect place to go crazy and then act like nothing happened.

In the morning, when you see that girl who’s snap you asked for then caught a mad whine from but now, she doesn’t have that glitter cut crease and those booty shorts on, so you just walk straight past her on campus like you never met.

Don’t worry, she’s feeling the same way because now you’re not wearing that one Trapstar tee you own, and your air forces are creased.

Mock us all you want, but you know DMU is one of the most active uni’s at this moment in time. Don’t even make out like last summer you didn’t travel 3 hours on national express for Tudor bbq. And, we all know you’re planning on doing it again this year.

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written by Lucy