Guys to avoid: ‘The Vampire.’

XO
Mar 7, 2019
3 min read

Updated: Apr 22, 2019

This guy stole Dracula’s job and only appears when the sun has gone down to bite some neck. Sound familiar? Yeah well, I’ve had my fair share of these guys in my life. They just can’t seem to meet up with you during the working hours of the day, u know because they’re just SOOO busy. I’ve had this happen so many times, I’m starting to believe they just burst into dust at the slightest glimpse of sunlight. Me and every other sane woman call bullshit. These guys just wanna beat it and leave it.

I think women are very generous. Generous with our affection when we like someone and with that, we are generous with our time. So, we give guys the benefit of the doubt sometimes. That doesn’t make us stupid it makes us indefinitely normal. And if I’m honest, first dates frighten the fuck out of me so a chill environment isn’t the worst thing that can happen.

So they come over, you know how it goes. Netflix and chill and all that. Or if you’re about it, smoke some and talk random shit about yourself that is old news to you but new to him. It’s almost idyllic and there’s a vibe in the air that just makes you feel comfortable. You know what’s coming next right?

So he gets to kiss you ...

kissing your neck.

NECK KISSES.

HA.

Then… it stops. It stops there because you want it to stop there and the sexual tension just fades out. Right back into chilling. This might happen a couple times. But then all of a sudden the mood shifts, as if this guy doesn’t know what to talk about, do or have any interest in, because he was denied sex. You might ask him if he’s OK, of course, he’s good but the lingering of awkwardness in the air laughs and says otherwise.

From then on, it becomes clear that despite our faith in the male specimen, he just wanted to chill IN you. You feel me? Like this guy just doesn’t understand that kissing doesn’t always equal to dicking. Despite that initial interest in your likes and dislikes, aliens and conspiracies he was more interested in finding a regular tip-off point for his load and his bullshit.

If you’re like me, these thoughts don't come at first, call me naive. Well actually, If I like parts of a person.. and I mean personality wise then I will hold out to see if I’m getting them wrong. So learn from my mistakes guys, I know a lot of people can relate.

If there are red flags don’t ignore them. If he's only coming thru after dark, girl he isn’t Drake. Don’t afford him any of your time. ( if that went over your head, I'm sad for you.)

But you're thinking, he's fine.

He's funny.

He says some really genuine things.

You think there's a reasonable answer for him not hitting you up, not taking you out? Maybe even hitting you up during the day, just not asking to see you until the moons out.

Girl stop fooling yourself.

Take my advice, if the vampire is sounding familiar, DIP. The more you let him sink his teeth in, the harder it will be for you to let go. He may have all the qualities that you like but if you're not just in it for sex, don't let his charm deceive you and use you for it.

Here's a little list of things to look out for, in no particular order:

1. When you question him on his midnight

moves and he makes out you're buggin'

-gotta interrupt the list I'm getting heated-

Excuse me? who me? you really didn't mean me. ZAAFUQ you talking to? You talkin' to me?

Sorry, this one just pisses me off, the fuck you mean, am I bugging?

Don't let anyone get into your head and make you feel like you're crazy or caring too much just because you're watching out for yourself.

-ok, continue-

2. Says he wants to spend time with you but after 20 mins of talking he already trying his luck.

3. Mood changes when you don’t wanna be his level of intimate.

4. Always wants to chill, and never anything more.

5. All in all cut that ni##@ off!!

Girls if you realise this is your guy, please dip, you are worth more!

In the long run, if you know and don't get rid, you'll be the one playing with your feelings.

Furthermore, if you continue with this guy thinking this post is full of shit... Just now that I'm here somewhere looking at you like this cause girl I told you...