Hoe season is coming

DISCLAIMER: No man was hurt in the making of this article

(well not that I know of.)

Ok as summer vastly approaches and all of us single ladies tryna do up skin out and pum pum, we start to re-evaluate whether it is really necessary to be in a relationship.

When end of September hits, it’s more then that we start to question, who are we meant to do cute couple outfits with for Halloween and stay indoors with?

We honestly and truly get lonely. And no it’s not that your second best to summer, but summer is definitely more meant for singles- and yes its that time of the year we start to put City Girls and Cardi B onto our playlists.

I’m partaking In Hoe Season, ( the slits, the freedom and the flirting part ) and I would love to say I could do what lies in between but for me Im wiery on ‘catching feelings’ and diseases .

So what is hoe season ? And do you actually have to be a hoe to partake ?

I mean really evaluate, really deep it, consider it and then re consider it.

Hoe season is when the sun starts to come out, it’s too hot to cuddle, having an alcoholic beverage in the afternoon is more acceptable and all the bicycle shorts and bum bags start to make their debut into the stores.

And with all that in mind, us girls question, why on earth would we need a man ?

Hoe season is on its way and I’m ready for it.

After all its the only time us wifeys can be a hoe without being an actual hoe.

DISCLAIMER: HOE SEASON DOES NOT MEAN YOU WANT TO BE INTIMATE

BUT... HOE SEASON IS A WHOLE MOOD.

Hoe season is a time to be free within yourself, with your friends, wearing cute little shorts and Sunglasses on your face. It’s the season to have oversized glasses and lift them up to let a man know what’s gwarning.

Its basically I’m into you, but I’m just letting you know I’m into you. I don’t want to actually do anything about it. Im just here for the compliments and the bants.

There are two variations to ’Hoe season’. You know the actual hoe and the I want to live my best life for a few months hoe.

When receiving requests on Instagram the men clearly asked me to confirm in this article that some women are trash.

Now this Is a sticky one because can you class us as trash, if we told you prior that we are here for a good time not a long time?

And also the lying and deceit which comes your way is based on the strong pre-judgments we receive. It makes us want to LIE.

It’s down to us if we decide to count our body counts in 3’s. ( you know the good old trick, 1 person actually = 3) let us live our best lives and leave us dafuq alone.

We are only lying about our body counts because you told us we are trash for wanting more than one sexual partner in our entire lifetime.

As I said earlier, hoe season has two type of variations.

And its quite easy to distinguish the two

DISCLAIMER: THE GIRL ACTUALLY TELLING YOU SHES NOT SURE WHAT SHE WANTS IS THE ONE WHOS HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME.

She really just wants to be free, with no one in control of her actions but her. She wants the opportunity to dabble in the sauce and chat to a few men because she knows once she settles down she is all for you, 100 hundred per cent.

9/10 of us girls really do tell it as it is. I have deffo told guys I’m confused, but if you all start to digest the term ’Hoe season’ from now... that should clear a few things up for you.

Now here’s where the key phrase “your a player.” Comes into play. No mate I’m just not putting all of my eggs in one whole basket.

We will eventually, but not in hoe season.

Yes Baecation is cute, but getting drunk with your girls, and discussing holiday outfits is a lot cuter.

Summer time is coming, if you still have no boyfriend you have missed the GAP...

It’s now by force that you take part in the movement, where ya girls all become one and hoe together.

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